A Dog In Our Modern World - Train or Guide and Educate Dogs?

To co-exist in harmony it's necessary to move away from control, instead, exude patience, offer safety, understand your dog, set personal boundaries, be trustworthy and be respectful of who and what they are.  Be all those and your dog will respect you back, put their trust in you and feel safe. Guide and educate your dog so they are able to be patient and present with thoughtful, calm canine behaviours. Self-control, patience and turning the other cheek, is for any being paramount for survival and successful cohabitation.

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Your dog is part of the family, as part of a family, they, like children, need to be guided into how to communicate with thought and become team players.

To grow together with our dog and truly connect mind to mind. 

For us to form a relationship with our dogs, built on trust and understanding

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Expectations when living with a dog

Your first expectation when you cohabit with another species needs to be to help them be themselves. To help them exhibit natural, thoughtful behaviours. To be a social being, who’s able to engage, disengage or ignore with relative ease.

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Understand their likes, dislikes and abilities, their fears and loves. Take time through puppy hood, adolescence to adulthood to familiarise and socialise at their speed not your expectations, and keep them feeling safe and advocate for them throughout their lives, likes us they can become fearful of anything at any age when situations depict.

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Your dog does not need to be robotic in actions, one who's unable to be a dog or act naturally. Teach a way your dog learns naturally, to be able think for themselves, respond appropriately and self manage. Bin the Victorian era of rote training and regurgitation behaviours because that's what's expected, to be seen and not heard is a painful place to exist. It does not mean they can run riot and do as they please with little or no respect for others around them. 

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Goals in dog training

These goals, we must understand are our own goals, the goals put on us by pressure from what’s expected by society. No dog or child enters our world knowing how to behave, they come into this world with an inbuilt reaction to survive. And we need to listen to and act with empathy to help guide them through tough times.

To learn to sit or stay and heel in isolation is pointless and stressful. It’s so unnatural. Conforming to our rules and regulations, our way. Completely unnatural and leaves no space for individuality or self expression. 

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Natural guidance in canine education

Dogs who have known only control in their lives have never been allowed to think for themselves will get it wrong. Guidance to fit into our human world, with a supporting, trusted friend.

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Teaching dogs the way they naturally learn is the future. We all feel the need to fit into and be welcome within society, to love, have respect, be respectful, trust and feel safe with those around us. We need to achieve as close as possible to living naturally, with the ability to fit, in many cases, a square peg in a round hole. 

Canine education needs to fall hand in hand with each individual being, their unique personality and character. In order that they may express themselves, being understood for who and what they are.

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Self-control is learnt by guidance through thoughtful exposures. When dogs and children are given options with helpful guidance in the right environment and understanding of who they are, how they learn, they will grow in confidence and become resilient adults who make great choices.

Example - Guidance as opposed to control, You say it best when you say nothing at all …for example when your dog is super excited to see you and jumping up, help them gain self-control and give a more thoughtful approach by facing away and stepping in so the dog gets down. You call your dog when he respects your space. He’s learnt to self-control through guidance, giving him a choice to approach with more thought and becoming respectful of your personal space. 

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Safety, Patience and self control

Dogs, like us, learn best, in a safe environment with the right guide who understands how we tick. So, not surprising then that most of their best learning happens at home. They watch our every move, they feel how we feel, they react to how we act and make their own conclusions depending on our response to any given (non-verbal) question they ask.

Make it simple and straightforward so the dog then has to think more about actions and personal space rather than micromanaging or controlling the dog in a situation.

Our patience is so important when helping a dog to achieve anything. Their time, not our expectations. We lose patience when we are in too deep and have little support or understanding of how to respond or act. Get educated and give time for both you and your dog to become a team.

Give your dog time to process anything new you ask of him, where you are, whos about. Distance and time is your best friend. 

Short and sweet exposures and increase longer and closer in time.

Self-control is learnt by guidance through thoughtful exposures. When dogs and children are given options with helpful guidance in the right environment and understanding of who they are, how they learn, they will grow in confidence and become resilient adults who make great choices. It is practically impossible to have self control when faced with a threat too close too soon without knowing what to do to keep the peace. Equally impossible to have self control when you’re faced with another loving being exhibiting zero self control until you’re a well balanced adult with great communication skills. 

 

Healthy boundaries

Boundaries need to be set kindly, with empathy. What boundaries? Having respect and patience is key on both sides, there needs to be clear communication and, for your dog to be both these you need to be that first.

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There are three types of boundaries; These are learnt from parents to their children and equally dogs. 

• Clear boundaries within the relationship are from a place of kindness and give support, offering stability within the family both canine and human. When all sing off the same song sheet all feel listened to and form close trusting bonds. They are clear, adaptable and have some flexibility. Each is able to communicate their needs and be heard. 

• Rigid boundaries are inflexible, no room for discussion or others feeling taken into consideration. It results in the other parties becoming in many cases withdrawn or reactive and unable to express themselves or their individual  needs in a subtle manner. 

• Open  boundaries are unclear and may be fairly loose with no consistency. It's a place from which the dog parent relies wholly on their canine friend for support offering little support in return. This can lead to reactive behaviours as the dogs needs are not met and the dog becomes also totally dependent on that individual. They are in their own little bubble. 

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In the words of Dr. Edward Bassingthwaighte BVSc(HonsII) – (known as ‘The Healing Vet’)

“Safety is a direct result of clear, consistent, and healthy boundaries. Most humans are very bad at maintaining and expressing healthy boundaries in general, and with their pets in particular. If you want a beautiful relationship with any other being, you’ll need to have clear, kind boundaries. There is simply no other way to create the safety needed for trust, connection, love and respect to blossom”

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Putting thought into teaching, with a consistent kind approach. Giving time for the dog to be a dog and be themselves. It's not about being a controller, its for your dog to be able to self manage with or without you by their side.

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Getting to grow and learn together to form a trusting, loving relationship takes time, through puppyhood, adolescence into adulthood. No rush to become the perfect adult, but making progress daily to show them the way.