The Power Of Words - Dog Behaviour

Does How We Speak Really Matter?

This subject was recently raised in connection with what “commands” we give to our dogs – what words are used to achieve a result.

One person said that she did not like the word “command”, and preferred the word “cue”, but many said that it did not matter as long as the command was issued in a kind way, and in any case the word was unimportant as dogs do not interpret the word, just the intention behind the word.

The Meaning Of Words Changes

I have always believed (and still do) that this is correct in as much as you could (as an example) just as easily use the word “bananas” as a cue word, accompanied with the appropriate body language, to invite your dog to join you, as the word is just a sound to catch your dog’s attention, it is mainly the body language to which he responds. However, we as humans communicate largely by speaking – body language is important, but vocal communication, and the inflections we put on our words as well as the words themselves, are the means by which we express ourselves.

Does It Matter What Words We Use With Our Dogs?

So, if we accept that words in themselves are largely meaningless for dogs, why does it matter what words we use?

I believe that the words we use create a state of mind within ourselves.

You will probably laugh, but I always say “Excuse me sweetheart” when I want my dog to move. I don’t say “Move” or “Out the way” (well.... maybe sometimes!), but until this discussion was instigated, never thought about why.

I believe our choice of words, without doubt, affects our mental state, so for me, it makes sense to use words or phrases which create the state of mind I feel is useful when educating my dog – respect for him as a sensate creature, calm, confidence without dominance, the feeling that “We are friends – in this together”, and most importantly projects this state of “being” to our dogs. So, “Excuse me sweetheart” immediately creates a feeling of respect for my dogs in my head – I am asking, not commanding, them to comply. “Out the way” or “Move”, would create a feeling of disrespect.

I want a partnership with my dog (albeit, from necessity, with me leading the way), a thinking dog, a dog which makes good choices on its own – only looking to me for guidance when a confusing situation arises, but which is always aware and connected to me and ready to follow my requests, not a dog which jumps to attention at the trigger of a command word without thought. I believe mutual respect and trust is an essential starting point – and, purely for humans, the choice of words matter.

Words like “No”, “Leave”, “Wait”, “Come” all have their place when something needs to happen immediately for safety, but if they are used only when necessary and in the tone which brooks no argument, they are much more effective. It is quite hard to use words like these without sounding “commanding”, and if you have educated your dog with understanding and empathy, being “commanding” is only necessary in certain situations.

I have respect and love for my dogs. I have to be in charge in a world where they are dependent on me, but I want co-operation, not “obedience”. That may seem to be something of an oxymoron when I DO expect them to follow my wishes, but just because I want them to “Do as I say” this does not mean that I have to come across as an uncompromising dictator.

So, for me at least, words are important.

Lesley Harris First Written in 2014